Part #5- Our Emotional Journey

Thursday

I was scheduled to work in Luke's kindergarten class on Thursday morning so I left the hospital and took a quick shower at my sister's and worked in the class. I was gone for a total of 3 hours and sooooooooo much stuff happened. They moves rooms, saw the psychologist, saw Addisyn's doctor and came up with a plan. They told Addisyn if she didn't start eating and drinking within an hour they were going to have to stick a tube up her nose and down her throat. Tim also took on a new, not so patience approach. He got really firm with her and she finally ate a couple bites of pancake and drank a little water. Tim and Addisyn also watched Goonies together and she began to talk and laugh. When the doctor came in she talked to her and answered her questions. They decided to release her since she had cheered up, was eating a little, and drinking. The doctor came in and talked to her about what could be "bothering" her. The doctor seemed to think it could be 3 different things.

1. Depression/ Anxiety

2. Anoxeria

3. Some kind of post tramatic stress episode

We wholeheartedly believe it is not anoxeria. We think the doctor assumed because she was in gymnastics thats what it is. Addisyn weighs 52 pounds and really wants to weight 60 pounds so she can be out of her booster seat. She also has never showed any other signs and never talks about her weight.

We are not sure about the other two. The doctor told us we needed to follow up with some therapy to get to the root of all of this.

The doctor said we could go home that night beasue her CO2 level was in the 20's and she started eating and drinking. Addisyn was happy, laughing, and talking for about a hour

and then she fell back into a total funk. She looked tired and just layed their staring. We tried talking to her and she wasn't responding. After about 30 minutes she started talking and acting pretty "normal" again. We finally got discharged and went home. That night Addisyn was so happy playing in the bath for an hour with her Polly Pockets.

the next post will be about what we are doing now to heal her.....

Part #4- Our Emotional Journey

Sorry for the delay in posting.... it's been crazy trying to get on track around our house these days. Thanks for being patience with me!

Part #4

Tuesday
While waiting in the Emergency Room I decided to call Urgent Care back to see if they had Addisyn's blood work results back. The doctor said everything looked pretty normal except her CO2 level concerned him. He went on to say that it was a 13 and the norm is between 25-40. As soon as I got off the phone with him, Tim and I googled what that could mean. We found that a low CO2 could be from many different reasons. You can read about it here http://www.webmd.com/lung/carbon-dioxide?page=2

After we got called back, the Emergency Room doctor decided she wanted to do her own blood work and start Addisyn on fluids right away. They drew her blood and found that her CO2 level dropped again to 12. They then decided to speed up the fluids and hope that she would start responding after a few hours. Addisyn just layed there... with a blank look and showed NO emotion. Around midnight Tim decided to go home with the kids and sleep a while before he had work the next day. I just layed there with Addisyn and prayed while she was sleeping. I prayed for healing, that she would talk, that she would eat and drink. A few hours went by and they sent someone else in to take blood. Finally this time she reacted a little, still no tears but seemed to be bothered when the man couldn't find a good vein. A new team of doctors came in to talk to us and said they were going to admit her to the Children's floor.

Wednesday

Addisyn and I fell asleep for about an hour and then around 6:30 am Tim came and brought me coffee and came to visit. Tim and I were danicing, making funny faces, telling jokes while Addisyn just layed there staring at us. I was blowing up the latex gloves and she was just staring at me, it was so sad. I decided since it was morning I would turn all the lights on in the room and turn on the TV and make Addisyn sit up and interact. When Tim had to leave to go to work Addisyn cried for the first time. This was a good thing, we thought maybe she was getting back on track. My mom came to visit and she was there when it was time to change rooms, Addisyn started crying again. As soon as we got up to the Children's floor the little boy in the bed next to Addisyn started screaming, "I'm going to kill you!"..... Addisyn started balling and I knew we had to move. I asked the nurse to please move us because Addisyn was not emotionally stable to handle that. We got moved to a nice, bright, room where we could see the whole valley. The sun was shining and I believe that was a huge help in the healing process. All day we had nice visitors coming in and out, Addisyn cracked a few smiles but no words. They drew her blood again and still were not happy with the CO2 level (I believe it was at a 17). They decided to add sugar water and potassium to the bag of salt water. They also turned the speed up quite a bit because they wanted to see results faster. Around 2:00 Tim brought Luke, Karsten, and Ainsley for a visit. Addisyn didn't interact with them and they ignored her and were happy to see me. Later that evening she was peeing every hour or so and seemed more alert. My brother came by and they played Angry Birds together. He brought Addisyn Del Taco french fries and she held one which was a huge step since she hadn't eaten since Sunday morning. Addisyn never ate the french fries but we tried. Tim got back to the hospital right after Addisyn got a Bunny from my friend, Heather. This bunny was the cutest bunny ever, it had a bikini on, sitting in a sprinkled donut floatie, and sings and dances. Addisyn FINALLY laughed when we noticed that the bunny had boobs! It was so funny and everytime a visitor would come we would show them BB (boob bunny) and Addisyn would crack a smile and giggle. We were beyond blessed by how many visitors came and brought us food, snacks, books, magizines, blankets and so much more. We have the best friends and family ever. That night after everyone left, Addisyn had a hard time falling asleep but once she was asleep she would wake up and say, "mommy I have to go potty" I was refreshed she would say a few words. Around 2am they brought in a new girl to put in the bed next to Addisyn. The girl started talking about having scars from cutting herself and getting kicked out of school for taking a knief to school. I got up quietly while Addisyn was sleeping and told the nurse that we needed to move because of Addisyn's emotional state. They understood but promised not to talk to her again about any "issues" until we were moved.

..... part 5 coming on Saturday.... I PROMISE!

Wordless Wednesday.....

Part #3- Our Emotional Journey

Tuesday

On Tuesday I woke up Addisyn and made her get dressed to take Luke to school. I kept asking her questions and the only response I would get would be a yes or no with her head. On the drive to Redlands I asked her if her head hurt, if her tummy hurt, if her throat hurt, and all the answers were no. After dropping off Luke at school and talking to some of the mommies there I decided I needed to take her in. My friend Carly prayed with me in the parking lot and off I went to plan my day. Tuesdays are always hard because Tim is gone from 5am until around 6:30pm. I called my sister to see if she could watch Karsten and Ainsley and met up with her to transfer the kids in a parking lot. My sister, Jill, tried to talk to Addisyn and give her some sprite; but nothing! Addisyn just sat there in a total daze. After we left Addisyn slept all the way to the doctor's office. I carried her into the doctors office and she just sat on a chair, spaced out. She said she had to go to the bathroom so I asked for a cup for her to pee in. When the doctor came in and checked her out he said that everything in her urine came back fine and that she still had another 24 hours before she was going to be dehydrated. He talked to Addisyn and told her he wanted to give her time to hydrate on her own, otherwise they were going to put an IV in her arm. Addisyn agreed by nodding her head and we left. I talked to her about drinking, gave her many options; cold, not cold, ice, straw, bottle, cup.... nothing worked, she just sat there! On the way home we stopped at one of Addiyn's friends house to see if she would talk or play with a friend but instead she just laid on the bed in a daze. We came home and within 3 minutes of laying on the couch she was asleep again and still had not drank anything. I took a shower and decided that I'm not waiting 24 more hours. So, I put her back in the car and took her back to the doctor. Three nurses came in to help hold her down while they put an IV in and they didn't have to do anything. Addisyn just laid there and was starring off into space. She didn't cry or make a sound. They took blood then, started her on fluids. I sat in the room praying and texting Tim all the updates. They gave her one bag of fluid and saw no change so they gave her a second one. By the time the second one was over and there was no change they decided it was time for her to go to Loma Linda. They gave me the option to drive or take an ambulance and I decided to drive. As soon as we got in the car she fell asleep. When we got to Loma Linda Emergency Room I had to carry her in because she was so weak and tired. Once we were there and checked in, the waiting began. We waited for almost 3 hours before they took us back to look at her.

part 4 coming soon...

mixed emotion

These pictures of Addisyn bring me mixed emotions. These were taken in November and she seemed totally happy! It makes me sad to think that this girl of ours can easily shut down to the point of making herself sick. It also brings me joy knowing that God is in the process of healing her and restoring her back to herself. Thanks again for everyone who is helping us through this journey!

Part #2- Our Emotional Journey

Sunday Night

Sunday throughout the night Addisyn started throwing up. She threw up every hour from 11-5. About every other time she would say the words, "Mommy I'm going to throw up" but most of the time she just sat up quickly and I knew what was coming. Our kids rarely throw up and when they do it upsets them...but Addisyn had no emotion. She would sit up, throw up, then lay back down. That next morning I already had an appointment set up for the dentist so she stayed home with me. In the car on the way to take the kids to school she just sat there in a total daze. The other kids were singing Veggie Tales at the top of their lungs and she didn't care and didn't move. If I asked her a yes or no question she would move her head up and down or side to side but gave me a completly blank stare, while answering. After dropping off the younger kids I decided to go home and let her rest before the dentist. As soon as she was on the couch she fell asleep. In my head at that time I started thinking maybe she just happened to have the flu at the same time as some anxiety but she had no other flu symptoms. When I woke her to go the dentist she was really out of it so I carried her to the car. When we got there she was able to walk into the dentist and walk to the dentist chair in the back. When Dr. Boyd came in she hardly showed any emotion. I said please just pull this tooth so she will start eating, drinking, and talking again. When it was time to actually pull it she did grunt a little and kind-of moved around but she did not freak out. As we were leaving the office I noticed she still was acting funny. We went to the grocery store and she just sat in the cart staring off into space the whole time. I got her a cookie thinking that would perk her up but she just held it in her hand. We ran into some friends at the store and she just sat there.... no emotion. During this whole day I kept telling her that if she doesn't drink soon we would have to take her to the doctor and they would put a needle in her arm.... she didn't seem to care (which is not like her at all).

I took her to work with me that afternoon thinking once she saw her friends at the gym she would want to be with them. Instead she was laying on the floor in the office or every once in a while she would wave to them through the window. Tim called to talk to her and she said a few words to him. On the way home from work I called the doctor to see where I take her after hours hoping that when she heard me on the phone she would start drinking.... nope! When we got home she fell asleep on the couch and Tim and I decided we had to either take her in or make her drink. Around 9:30pm we woke her up and said you must drink this whole glass of water. It took about 10 minutes but she did it and quickly fell asleep. We knew she had enough to last until the next day and we even thought maybe after a good nights rest she would snap out of it. But starting around 2am she started throwing up again. I knew at that time I was taking her to Urgent Care in the morning. Just a side note, we kept checking for signs of dehydration and there weren't any yet. Her mouth was still wet, her circulation was good, and she was still peeing.

I will post part #3 soon

Part #1- Our Emotional Journey

Thank you for understanding and being patient. I will have to post a few different times because of time constraints. We first want to THANK God for getting us through this last week. I don't know how people make it through hurt and sorrow without HIM. We are also above and beyond BLESSED with awesome friends and family. We have never felt so much love and support! Thanks again for all the prayers, visits, cards, gifts, food, coffee, babysitting, and understanding! We appreciate every single one of you! Thank you also for continuing to pray as we set out to totally heal Addisyn and our family. We are seeking God as to where to go from now.

The Beginning- Sunday

Everything seemed to be totally fine Sunday morning when Addisyn woke up. She was excited about her 1st gymnastics meet of the season but also a little nervous. We decided to go as a family in our jammies to get bagels. While Addisyn was sitting at the kitchen table she began to cry. When we asked her what was wrong she said her tooth was really loose and bleeding. Being the great mom I am I told her to stop crying and that she is fine! Well, the crying continued then she explained to us that she was afraid of swallowing the loose tooth because the previous tooth she lost she had accidentally swallowed. We talked to her about how it's not a big deal, that most people don't swallow their tooth so it most likely wouldn't happen again. She continued to cry while getting ready for her gymnastics meet. On the way to the meet she cried on and off about her tooth. When we got to the meet is when she really started acting different. The first red flag was that she didn't want me to leave her. After walking her out to her coaches she was crying and reaching for me. Tim and I both thought she was just nervous about her tooth and about her meet. During the whole meet she had no emotion. She was able to do her routines but it was as though she was in a "fog". Every time she looked at us we would smile and she would give us a blank stare. We tried having one of the other gymnast moms who is a dental hygienist look at her tooth after the meet and Addisyn wasn't having it. We went out to dinner after the meet with friends and Addisyn just sat there. So of course the whole time we were thinking she doesn't want to eat, drink, or talk because of her tooth. So we made the decision to have her tooth pulled the next morning. My plan was to have the tooth pulled and all of her anxiety would go away and our normal Addisyn would be back.

..... part 2 will come soon!

Red Velvet Cake Pops

My office manager Lauren loves Red Velvet so when I saw this recipe on my friend Jennifer's site I had to make these for her Birthday!

1. Bake a cake and let it cool then crumble it all up 2. After the cake is all crumbled you add in 1 can of Cream Cheese Frosting and Mix.... using your hands is best.... SEE?????3. After the crumbled cake and frosting is all mixed well you form it into many balls. I put the sticks in this time but probably wouldn't do that next time I make them.

4. Freeze the balls for about 15-30 minutes. 5. Get all your goodies together. I would HIGHLY recommend Stater Bros. brand CANDIQUIK for melting. It was SUPER easy and stayed smooth the whole time. It even came with a little melting tray for less clean up! 6. Once the chocolate is nice and melted you dip the cake pops in, then roll in sprinkles.Here is my 1st set.....These ones were my favorite.... I'm going to make them for the teachers for ValentinesThe cake kept falling off the sticks so I decided to make some ballsBright pink sprinklesI did try melting some White Chocolate Chips made by Wilton but it was not smooth and got hard really fast so I only made a couple white chocolate ones. Here is one way I gave them to my office manager..... in a Mason JarI also made a little bouquet for her with candy,in a jarand cake pops insideHappy Birthday Lauren!

By the way the Cake Pops tasted really yummy!

Our baby's 1st day of school

Our precious baby girl, Ainsley started school on Monday. She was SO excited and did a great job! Her teacher said she would take a thousand Ainsley's in her class, because she was such a good girl!

Oustide our house on her 1st dayDaddy surprised us and showed up at the pre school for her 1st day!Drawing I love school! We are so proud of you BIG GIRL..... but you are still our baby!

Happy 5th Birthday Karsten Noah!!!

Karsten you are:

1. smart

2. sweet

3. strong

4. independent

5. affirming

6. affectionate

7. sincere

8. honest

9. protective

10. adorable

11. creative

12. focused

13. clever

14. bold

15. active

Happy 5th Birthday Karsten! We LOVE you so much! Thanks for being you!

Wordless Wednesday.....

Brothers....

BestFriendsForever